Seapuppy
04-25-2005, 05:28 PM
Ladies Vs. Real Women
> >
> > Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking,
> > drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an
> > instant fix-me-up.
> >
> > Real Women - If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too
> > bad. Please recite with me The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you
> > will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."
> >
> >
> > ************************************************** ******************
> > Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
> > your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
> >
> > Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You
> > might still have the headache, but who cares?
> > ************************************************** ******************
> >
> > Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to
> > prevent ice cream drips.
> >
> > Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for
> > Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up
> > eating it anyway.
> > ************************************************** ******************
> >
> > Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with
> > the potatoes.
> >
> > Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for
> > up to a year.
> > ************************************************** ******************
> >
> > Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit
> > of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the
> > inside of the cake.
> >
> > Real Women - Go to the bakery -- they'll even decorate it for you.
> > ************************************************** ******************
> >
> > Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to
> > yield a beautiful glossy finish.
> >
> > Real Women - Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg
> > whites over the crust, so I just don't do it.
> > ************************************************** ******************
> >
> > Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing
> > gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
> >
> > Real Women - Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it.
> > ************************************************** ******************
> >
> > And finally the most important tip....
> >
> > Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes
> > for future use in casseroles and sauces.
> >
> > Real Women - Leftover wine??
> > ************************************************** ******************
> >
> > REMEMBER----A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a
> > TRUE FRIEND will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn ... that was
> > fun!"
:argh ARRR
> >
> > Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking,
> > drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an
> > instant fix-me-up.
> >
> > Real Women - If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too
> > bad. Please recite with me The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you
> > will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."
> >
> >
> > ************************************************** ******************
> > Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
> > your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
> >
> > Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You
> > might still have the headache, but who cares?
> > ************************************************** ******************
> >
> > Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to
> > prevent ice cream drips.
> >
> > Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for
> > Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up
> > eating it anyway.
> > ************************************************** ******************
> >
> > Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with
> > the potatoes.
> >
> > Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for
> > up to a year.
> > ************************************************** ******************
> >
> > Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit
> > of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the
> > inside of the cake.
> >
> > Real Women - Go to the bakery -- they'll even decorate it for you.
> > ************************************************** ******************
> >
> > Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to
> > yield a beautiful glossy finish.
> >
> > Real Women - Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg
> > whites over the crust, so I just don't do it.
> > ************************************************** ******************
> >
> > Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing
> > gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
> >
> > Real Women - Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it.
> > ************************************************** ******************
> >
> > And finally the most important tip....
> >
> > Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes
> > for future use in casseroles and sauces.
> >
> > Real Women - Leftover wine??
> > ************************************************** ******************
> >
> > REMEMBER----A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a
> > TRUE FRIEND will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn ... that was
> > fun!"
:argh ARRR