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Seapuppy
05-21-2005, 04:46 PM
A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very
much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the
refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12
different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think
of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop, but at the bar... you know they have frozen glasses."

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying,
"You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the
freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar
they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...I won't be long.
I'll be right back. I promise...OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5
dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom
caps, and pork strips.

"But, my sweet honey,...at the bar....you know, there's swearing, dirty words
and all that..."

"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?

"LISTEN UP DICKHEAD! SIT DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR DAMN BEER IN YOUR DAMN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR FRICKING HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A FRICKING
BAR! THAT **** IS OVER...GOT IT, *******?"

...and, they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story?


:argh :D :argh arrrr

Lazy Flamingo
05-21-2005, 06:02 PM
"The Bride From Hell"
Sounds like the girl my brother married .. :shock: